Time To Let Go
Integrative Therapy in Hackney

Compassion-focused, Trauma-informed, Existentially-minded & Action-supporting Therapeutic Work

Hello. I'm Sammy, an experienced, BACP-registered, COSRT-certified integrative psychotherapist practising mainly in-person from my office by London Fields in Hackney (E8) as well as online, by phone and by walk-and-talk.My practice is split between Integrative Psychotherapy with individuals, and Relationship Therapy (also known as couples counselling/therapy).
For more about Relationship Therapy head to my profile on the Counselling Directory.Integrative PsychotherapyI help people change, whether that means healing from their childhood trauma / complex trauma (sometimes called "C-PTSD"), processing their stuck grief, letting go of unhealthy patterns, establishing healthy boundaries, developing their personality/character or realising their personal growth potential.Whatever happened to you in the past, whatever you wanted to happen that didn't and whatever you're still waiting to happen, I'm here to guide you in confronting your "unfinished business" and relinquishing the control it still has over you today.I work from the understanding that, long after traumatic or neglectful events, periods or situations have passed, it is often the hidden beliefs we hold at our core as a result of those experiences that continue to cause us mental overwhelm, emotional pain, autonomic stress and physical ill-health, and that keep us stuck or from living the life we want to live.Holding these core beliefs firmly in place are deep-rooted feelings of shame along with an overpowering fear that our shame will be exposed, not only to others but to ourselves.Moments, episodes, sagas and eras in our early years and teenagehood radically shape how we see and feel about ourselves, others, life and the world around us.Alongside positive treatment, cherished memories and healthy developmental experiences, we may have been neglected, deprived, rejected, bereaved, conditionally loved, smothered, ignored, shutdown, scapegoated, pressured, deprioritised, inconsistently treated, betrayed, wished away, spoken down to, emotionally blackmailed, bullied, denied play, threatened, violently attacked, verbally assaulted, humiliated, spitefully punished, handled with contempt, witness to atrocities, incapacitated, denied rites of passage or independence, envied, inappropriately depended upon or inappropriately touched.As children, when - without explanation - our fundamental needs are not being met, we may come to conclude things like "I'm bad", "I'm unworthy of love", "I'm not safe", "I'm only worthy of attention if I...", "I'm too much", I'm not (good) enough", "I'm disgusting", "I shouldn't be here", "I'm dangerous", "I can't trust anyone", "I'm invisible", "I'm out of control", "I exist only for others", "I'm crazy" and "I must compete to be heard".Every bit as soul-crushing as they are a source of wisdom, we form and cling to these beliefs - along with the "magical thinking" that justifies them - in order to emotionally and physically survive the remainder of childhood and what we imagine will be our adulthood.Using them as our template for living, we develop coping mechanisms we hope will shield us, strategies that probably kept us alive back then but now tragically limit, dehumanise and chronically disease us as adults.Ways of perceiving ourselves, of being and of behaving that we adopted to get us through dark, frightening times now threaten and sabotage our lives in the present.Even when the true dangers of old are long gone, we are constantly bombarded by subtle and not-so-subtle reminders of those times, known as emotional triggers, and remain trapped in cycles of hyper-vigilance that are often self-fulfilling.I see therapy as the process of unearthing, giving space to and freeing yourself from the burdens of the past - the arrested emotions, the limiting beliefs, the outdated survival strategies, the obsolete triggers.Once you realise at your core that you no longer have to carry and live by them, you can choose to give them up.It's through rediscovering, focusing attention on, emotionally-experiencing, accepting and letting go of the past, and the courageous ways you coped with it, that true recovery and profound, lasting change occurs.The Importance of an Existential LensWhile helping people change is my primary focus, the space I offer is also one in which people can get to know themselves intimately, discover what really matters to them, explore the nature of existence and, in doing so, live better.Under the spotlight of life's big questions, I help them orient themselves away from simply seeking pleasure or happiness without pain and towards living more authentically, with purpose, meaning, grace and fulfilment.It's not easy to reconcile our individual concerns with those over-arching and inescapable challenges of being human, known as "the human condition". To be conscious means to be aware of our own freedom, responsibility, isolation, meaninglessness and inevitable death.That awareness often leads to a mess of unpalatable and terrifying feelings that we instinctively force into our subconscious minds to avoid being overwhelmed.When, in a state of complete denial, we don't allow that awareness and those feelings back into our conscious minds in moderation and on a regular basis, they might show up in other ways instead e.g. as anxiety, boredom, confusion, low self-esteem, disassociation or physical symptoms.These "substitute" feelings have a habit of blending with the emotional toll of daily life and the insidious burden of past trauma, often resulting in a diffuse sense of self and of what torments us.Therapy serves as a practice of teasing out, making sense of, contemplating and bearing witness to your interwoven, interconnected life experiences.As you investigate and demystify your suffering, you come to know the rich and diverse territory of it. You start to recognise constituent sources of discomfort and anguish as separate from one another.In time, you clarify your values and increasingly see why, how, when and where you're not living by them.In doing so you learn to appreciate them, not as flimsy passing thoughts, but as beacons that show you the way towards living meaningfully.With a deeper, more authentic, more nuanced understanding of yourself and what it means to be alive, you can find the strength to take necessary actions, and the courage to make peace with things as they are now and as they once were.What I specialise in working withThough I am experienced in helping with a diverse range of issues and situations with clients from a variety of backgrounds, I'm a specialist in working with:Childhood trauma & complex trauma (its acute form, "C-PTSD", affecting an estimated 20% of the adult population), narcissism & narcissistic abuse, codependence & counter-dependence, personal growth & post-traumatic growth, conflict & setting boundaries, existential crisis, infidelity & betrayal, bereavement, high-sensitivity ("SPS", "HSPs"), parentification, the legacy of emotionally-immature, addicted or dysregulated parents, family issues & estrangement, disenfranchised grief and creative blocks.Some things that I championIt's a passion of mine to help people work through the common or universal human experiences that cause untold suffering but that, for one reason or another, our modern society likes to sweep under the carpet (as taboo), or that our culture has little awareness of and no language for.I am also passionate about helping people understand that umbrella-terms like "addiction", "depression" and "generalised anxiety" give a false impression that these are generic, surface-level "diseases to cure" rather than nuanced coping strategies with a much deeper meaning, and that this fallacy prevents them from getting the help that they need.Along similar lines, I am also drawn towards helping people truly appreciate what neuro-divergence might be and how it reliably maps to complex trauma from childhood. I look beyond these labelled conditions being psychiatric diagnoses, permanent ways of being or fixed identities.My practice is kink-aware and queer-friendly.My therapeutic approach & philosophyMy approach with both relationships and individuals is compassion-focused, trauma-informed, existentially-minded and action-supporting.Having been trained and now practicing integratively, I'm inspired by and draw upon a number of approaches including humanistic (re-parenting, existential, gestalt, transactional analysis, person-centred), psycho-dynamic (object relations), cognitive (mindfulness, MBT, DBT, ACT), somatic (sensorimotor), trauma-focused approaches (compassionate inquiry, IFS), couples-specific approaches (The Gottman method/imago therapy), psycho-sexual and neuroscience-based approaches (memory reconsolidation). I also weave in my own life experiences and, most important of all, everything I have learned from my client work to-date.I find this enables me to work from a variety of perspectives in a natural, non-dogmatic way. I don't believe that any single way of looking at things is "the right one". At the same time I recognise that most of the time different schools of therapy use different metaphors that are saying essentially the same thing.My philosophy for practice is a bio-psycho-social-spiritual one. This means I consider biological, psychological, social (& economic) and spiritual factors to be interconnected and of equal importance in contributing to a person's well-being.I believe gaining awareness of, giving attention to and focusing efforts on these factors concurrently promotes better, more sustainable and more resilient physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health.My training & qualificationsI am a registered member of the British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy (BACP) and have been practising since Autumn 2019.I hold an BACP-accredited Advanced Diploma in Humanistic Integrative Counselling from CPPD (2021) and a COSRT-accredited Certificate in Couples / Relationship Therapy from The Grove (2022).I have further specialist training in working with Suicide, Trauma, Eating Disorders, CBT, Eco Therapy, the Neuroscience of Attachment and Group Therapy.I'm currently completing further long-term training in Compassionate Inquiry, a modality created by Gabor Maté.Getting the most out of therapyIn truth, those who get the most out of psychotherapy accept that it is by nature unavoidably hard, emotional work and appreciate that it isn't simply about finding relief from their symptoms.Beyond turning up to sessions week after week, truly transformative therapy requires a thirst for change, a willingness to examine oneself, a dedication of time, a spirit of playful curiosity and, above all, courage.It involves actively questioning how you see yourself, others and the world around you, inside and outside of the therapy room. It takes making therapy a commitment to yourself, a personal responsibility and a priority.Whilst it's important to allow for therapy to be an organic, unfolding and unintentional process some of the time, being methodological, intentional and deliberate about it at other times is just as important.I encourage clients to become keen detectives of their present and inquisitive archaeologists of their past.Reflective practices such as journalling are necessary to breathe life into the work we do together, to shape the direction of it and magnify its impact.A few words on my personal backgroundPreviously I had an office-based career, as well as periods of working in hospitality, in kitchens, for small charities and as a musician.Though born and raised in the UK, I am mixed-ethnicity, of British, Iraqi and Iranian heritage, and have lived experience of growing up in an intercultural environment.I run workshops on themes loosely-related to the field of psychotherapy, and also work for a welfare and harm-reduction charity providing on-site psychological and emotional support to festival workers, volunteers and attendees.CostMy fee for individuals is £75 per 50 minute session.Clients pay by bank transfer (BACS / Monzo) or cash.My London Fields practiceAddress: Therapy Rooms, St Joseph's Hospice, Mare St, London, E8 4SANearest stations: Cambridge Heath (7 min walk), London Fields (8 min), Bethnal Green (14 min)Buses: 26, 55, 106, 254, D6Parking: Halfway down Victoria Park Rd close to the park entrance there is free parking after midday. Also paid parking on Beck Rd.How do we get started?The first step is to send me a message. We'll then arrange a free 30-min phone or video consultation.During this we'll get acquainted, I'll hear what brings you to therapy and about what your goals are, we'll discuss my approach, you'll ask me any questions you might have and we'll talk through the practical side of working together.From there we'll book a first session in, aiming to meet at the earliest opportunity.If, at the end of this session, you have a feeling we are a good fit and would us like to continue working together then we'll agree to a regular weekly meeting.Alternatively, if you feel you'd be better matched with a different therapist or you realise this isn't the kind of therapy you need right now then I will gladly assist you, where I can, in finding someone more suitable.Please contact me at [email protected] or via the Counselling Directory.I look forward to hearing from you.Sammy